We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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