i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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