you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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