I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Can Purell be used as lube?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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