Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
