my room smells like sperm. sweet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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