I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
