google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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