Girls should come with a carfax report
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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