come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
