I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
