I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
