Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
