Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
