i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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