Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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