Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
