Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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