But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
