I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize