i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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