I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's like iHOP with fire
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
