Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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