and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
