You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
