Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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