is your mom at the bar?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
