is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize