White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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