Grow some girl-balls and come out already
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
