is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I love you.
Bad choice
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
