I didn't shave. On purpose
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
