problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
