He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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