toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Me too!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
