I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
