So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
