i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
