just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
