He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
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