the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There r osticjed everywhere
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Damn victory sex feels great
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
