Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
