i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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