Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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