I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
