i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
