you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
