The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
