you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize