i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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