this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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