We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i drank out of a bidet.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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