Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
