all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
