But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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