o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
