from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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