So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
