This house was built for laser tag.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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