She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize