Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
