Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
