Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
